Wednesday, 8 December 2010

The ton......

They said it would never last, but it has.

This is Fantasy Bob's 100th Wittering.    To those of you who have suffered through each and every one, FB can only give his admiration and thanks, and apologies for inflicting all manner of nonsense on you. 

Jack Hobbs hit 199 centuries in his first class career.  Mark Ramprakash, Fantasy Bob's batting partner of choice (see first link below), now has 113.   No other current player comes near.   Leading centurion in Scottish cricket is the Rev James Aitchison with 56 centuries in club cricket for Carlton, Grange and Kilmarnock plus 7 for Scotland.  His long career ended in 1986. Carlton's current leading centurion is the great Cedric English with 15.

Artist's impression of FB's batting

At the other end of the scale, Fantasy Bob has never scored a century.  Many readers, well 2 out of the 3 of you, may be unsurprised to learn that.  

Batting middle order in limited overs matches doesn't offer too many opportunities and although FB has got close a couple of times, the cruel hand of fate intervened each time to send him back to the century still a century virgin.

 Perhaps this is why he was attracted to Carlton CC whose Latin motto Tu ne cede malis, taken from Book VI of Virgil's Aeneid (of course), translates roughly as don't give way to evils (sometimes translated as misfortunes).  The second part of the quote, for which there was not room on the club cap, says sed contra audentior ito - ie but attack all the more boldly.  So FB keeps swinging in hope.  As Scarlet O'Hara says in Gone with the Wind - changing the frame of reference wildly - 'Tomorrow is another 40 over match...................'

But for those of you unfortunate enough to come to this blog more recently, and with apologies for this display of ostentatious vanity,  here are what FB thinks could be his greatest hits (and those letters are in the correct order).  If you are actually interested in cricket and want facts and figures and  these posts have something amusing or interesting in them.  Not in batting order.

A Discourse on a Particular Piece of Willow
The All Time Great Biscuits XI
The Mystery of Fraggle's Trousers
J'aime Paris
The Waste Land
A Small Fright on Halloween
Nostalgia Part 1
The Hundred Acre CC
Collingwood's Sock

Things can only get better. Who knows, there might even be a sensible posting about cricket sometime.


  1. Congratulations on your maiden century FB. More power to your elbow (although your fingers may be a better target of that particular figure of speech).

  2. Yes, congratulations on the first ton, although I fear it may contain an innacuracy.

    Jimmy Aitchison retired from the Ministry in 1986; but I do not think he played cricket up to then. After he finished at Kilmarnock, he turned out for half a season or so for West 2nd XI. My recollection is that that was in the late 60's. He finally chucked it when they selected him for the 1st XI (as his performance in the 2's demanded).

    One of these days I will treat Fantasy Bob to some anecdotes about Aitchison. (I do not want to bore the other 2 readers). It is fair to say that he was not the most popular player on the circuit.

  3. Yes, congratulations. And in keeping with your 'Meldrew Mood' post the other day I trust that you greeted your ton with a modest raising of the bat rather than an orgy of arm waving, fist pumping and effeminate hugging of a team-mate?

  4. FB is grateful for your congratulations, which he can confirm was celebrated with appropriate decorum. He is also grateful to Iain for his correction on Aitchison's dates which FB had to infer from other sources. FB is always happy to be corrected.