Wednesday, 29 December 2010

Except for viewers in Scotland.......

Reason to leave the country
During the long course of history have any 5 words ever struck more terror into the hearts of a cricket loving population? 

Fantasy Bob thinks not.  For following this awful phrase comes the responsum - 'who have their own programme.'  There truly can be nothing worse.   Even watching a batting partnership by Chris Tavare and Glen Turner would be preferable.

Hogmanay is the time of maximum risk.  Medical and other emergency services are on standby until the crisis is over.

It is this danger which has lead Fantasy Bob to leave these shores and, once again, pass Hogmanay on the ski slopes in Austria. 

A glance at BBC Scotland's programming confirms the wisdom of his decision. 
Denness - 28 Tests
19 as captain
Batting average 39.69.
There is yet another edition of that exhausted format Only an Excuse - Only an Insult to the Intelligence is a better title - in which more sectarian jokes masquerade as humour. 

Then, demonstrating that truly astonishing originality which has made BBC Scotland legendary, there is Hogmany Live with newsreader Jacki Bird (again) and (according to the blurb) 'pipers, fiddlers and some fantastic singers'.   Not a fast bowler among them.

Why oh why?  What have the cricketers of Scotland done to deserve this shameful treatment?  Fantasy Bob is seeking support for a petition to the Scottish Parliament that this must stop.  It is time that Scotland's highest cricketing achiever is given the responsibility for next Hogmanay's programming.  A full length documentary on the life and times of Mike Denness would surely inspire the population in these difficult times. 

Join this petition now.


  1. not sure if you've seen this on the 'Except for viewers in Scotland' theme...

    'Scotland's highest cricketing achiever'....
    Douglas Jardine??

  2. CJE - many thanks. FB was not aware of Armando Ianucci's piece until he clicked your link. It puts FB's petty tirade to shame but great minds obviously think alike.

    Yes Jardine is a good candidate having enjoyed that traditional Scottish education of Winchester and New College Oxford. But Denness learnt to play in Scotland so maybe he had further to climb.