Sunday, 5 December 2010

Christmas is coming

As KP puts Australia's flagging bowling attack to the sword, Christmas rapidly approaches.  Don't pretend you haven't noticed.  Some readers might think that 551 for 4 at Adelaide is enough of a Christmas present, the goose just couldn't get any fatter.  But just in case you are in need of shopping inspiration Fantasy Bob has been scouring the shops trying to find appropriate gifts to bestow on the cricket lover. 

The ghost of Christmas past reminds FB that over the years he has received the usual quota of books, DVDs, mugs and ties with vague cricket connections.  He has a couple of pairs of very presentable cricket themed cufflinks, so there's lots of stuff out there - including bats, toy miniature and proper, mugs, replica shirts, personalised abdominal protectors and on to infinity.  But here are a few possibilities you might think of including in your letter to Santa this year - or not.  (Just in case you worry that FB has lost it, the text is mostly taken from the advertisements themselves.)

First the tatt:
Howzat Off The Wall Musical Cricket Ball Alarm - This, so says the blurb, is a great fun item for any cricket or sports fan. Set the alarm and it will wake you up with 'Soul Limbo' - better known as the theme from Test Match Special. And to top it all, throw it at the wall to turn it off!  FB notes that the puff doesn't say whether it will reverse swing - but it concludes by describing this as a great present and great fun. Howzat indeed!  (Prices seem to run from £4.45 to £14.99 depending where you find it).

Too much like fun?  For FB too.  Then what about this:
This photo frame is shaped like a cricket bat, complete with rubber grip handle! The wooden frame can be hung vertically or horizontally. A really original way to display photos of happy memories of family and friends, or victories on the pitch!  The text then goes on to confirm helpfully to the astounded reader that it has room for 3 photographs.   Like it?  It'll set you back £27.

Still not convinced?  Here is a more serious offer.

Watch master craftsmen create your very own bespoke cricket bat.  As the blurb suggests, 'this is your chance to take advantage of a service normally reserved for the professional cricketer. To perform to the best of your ability you need the right bat. With this unique experience master bat makers will assess your size, shape and weight to help you get the exact bat to suit your style of play. You will be involved through the whole process from choosing the willow to the polishing of the completed blade.  You will visit the bat making workshops at Somerset County Cricket Ground.'  Price: £279.95. 

It doesn't say whether the master craftsman would stiffle a giggle should Fantasy Bob turn up to have his size shape and weight assessed under the gaze of the spirits of Somerset greats such as Viv Richards, Ian Botham and Marcus Trescothick looked down.  But this is definitely something to put in your stocking.

Happy Shopping

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