Saturday 13 June 2020

The Road Map for the Return of Recreational Cricket


It is time to catch up with the Hundred Acre Wood CC as they navigate the ECB's roadmap for the return of recreational cricket.

As soon as the ECB's guidance came out, Christopher Robin had cut the grass in the nets so it would be ready for the first practice session.  

'Now, Pooh', he said, 'you must stick strictly to the rules.  It says that groups of six are allowed to train together.  No more than six.'

'Six,' said Pooh, 'um, that's more than five but not as many as seven.'

'Clever bear,'  said Christopher Robin.  'Remember, no more than six.  Have a nice practice.'

Pooh was not left on his own for long as Tigger bounced into the ground.  Tigger was the team's fast bowler and always full of energy.  He had found the lockdown very difficult  and not even Joe Wicks had tired him out.

'CanIbatcanIbowlcanIfield.' he said.

Pooh was breathless just listening.  'You can't do them all at once.'

'Try to stop me!' Tigger said, strapping on a pad and hurling a ball at the katchit at the same time.  The ball was plucked out of the air by Roo who had appeared at that moment.

'How's that.  How's that.  How's that', he said excitedly. 'I caught it, I did, all by myself.'

Kanga was not far behind lugging the enormous cricket bag which, in the way of all junior members, little Roo's gear was carried.

'Yes, dear well done', she said.  'Hello, Pooh.  What are you doing?'

'I'm counting,' replied Pooh with a worried look on his face. 'Um ..one and one is....er three and take away....'

Just as Pooh reached the end of his count, a slow sad voice was heard.

'I suppose nets are off tonight.  They always are these days.'

'No, Eeyore, we can practice now as long as we are socially distant.'  Piglet had also arrived and he held a copy of the rules in his hand. 

'I'm always socially distant, no one ever comes to see me.'

'Hello Pooh,' said Piglet, 'I'll bat. I hope Tigger's not going to bowl his bouncers.'  Piglet was the team's number three batsman, but as a little animal he didn't really like fast bowling.

'Bouncers!' said Tigger at the top of his run up, 'I love bouncers. Let's have some chin music.'  He ran in and Piglet hurled himself to the ground as the ball screamed past his head.

Pooh returned to his count.  'Piglet is one,  Tigger is two.  Roo and Kanga make four.  Then there's me and.....'

'I knew you'd forget me.  You always do.'  

'...and Eeyore!  And that makes.........er.......Yes, six.  That's six.  Now what was it that Christopher Robin said.....'

Pooh knew that what Christopher Robin had said was very important.  It was just that all the other important things he had heard seemed to be in the way of remembering that important thing.  He put on his best thinking face and stroked his chin, just like he'd seen Christopher Robin do when he had a hard thought to think.

As Pooh thought harder and harder, Rabbit arrived.  Rabbit was the team's skipper and a rather bossy animal, very fond of waving his arms about in a skipperly way.   Being skipper seemed to make him cross all the time. 'Now what's everyone doing?' he asked crossly.

'Seven!' said Pooh.  'Seven is one more than six.'

'What are you talking about, Pooh?'  Rabbit found that Pooh usually made him even crosser than he was before.

'You're seven.'

'No, you bear of extremely little brain, I always open,'  Rabbit replied, waving his arms to emphasise his point.

'Christopher Robin said we were only allowed six, and you're seven.  So you have to go.'

'He's right,' said Piglet, nervously, as he kept one eye on Tigger who was approaching the far end of his run up. 'It's the rules.'

'Yes... only six and that includes me for once,' said Eeyore

'I scored a six once,' said Roo.  'I did, didn't I?'

'Of course you did, dear,' said Kanga.  'Now Rabbit, I am afraid Pooh and Piglet are right.  It's the COVID rules, we can only be six.  You'll have to go.'

Rabbit's arms stopped waving.  He turned crossly on his heel.  'Of all the stupid ...'

The others looked after him as he left.

'You know,' said Eeyore voicing the inner thoughts of the other five, 'there may be something to be said for these rules after all.'




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