On Masks, Hurt and Foxy Fowler

Fantasy Bob found himself behind Sandy and George again as they queued outside Boots.  Though these cricket lovers are men of few words, he couldn't help overhearing.

George?  Is that you?

Mmmmmm

What?

Mmmmmm

I can't hear a word you're saying behind that mask.  Take it off.

Mmmmmm  I daren't.  Jean made it specially.

Did she?  Well it's a very fetching colour.  That bright pink really goes with your eyes.  I'm glad to run into you.  Did you see the cricket on the BBC last night?

Cricket on the BBC?  You must be joking.

They're replaying old matches.  They were at Lords with the West Indies in 1984.

A great game.

A great game.

(Pause) 

A great game.  What happened?

Well, Fowler got it right in the chuckies from Garner.  

(They both wince and slightly bend their knees).

That happened to me once.  Right in the chuckies.  From Garner.

Garner!?  You never faced Joel Garner.

Joel?  Maybe not but Noel Garner was an 11 year old leggie at the club back in the day.  Little beggar bowled me his wrong 'un. 

And got you....

...right in the chuckies.  I was singing soprano for a week.  Jean thought it was hilarious.

Well, Fowler went on to get a hundred.

He was a great lad.

Aye.  Foxy they called him.  

Foxy Fowler.  That's him.  A great lad.  Should have played lots more Tests. 

He's had his problems.

Anyone would if they'd been hit in the chuckies by Garner.

No, he gets very depressed.  He has to sleep in a tent in the garden.

That's what Jean tells me to do when she says my snoring's ruining her beauty sleep.  

But you don't have a garden.

You try telling her that.

Anyway Foxy does lots of great work for mental health in cricket.  A great lad.   You should read his book.  Absolutely Foxed.

I'm sorry to hear that, is that why you're at the chemist?

No, that's what Foxy's book's called.  Anyway, what about your mask?  You said Jean made it.  What with?

She's a woman for the recycling.  She thought it's be a good use of some of her old underwear.

I thought that was it.

How?

She hasn't removed the Ann Summers label.