On beer, hat tricks and Dominic Cork

As Fantasy Bob passed a group of physically distanced folk enjoying a drink in the sunshine outside one of Edinburgh's more salubrious hostelries, a couple of voices sounded familiar.

George
Sandy
Well this beer doesn't taste too bad out of a milk carton.
I suppose not.
Still it's a little bit.....what's the wordI'm looking for?
Milky?
That's it - it's a bit milky.
You were meant to empty the milk out before you put the beer in.
Really?  Nobody told me that.
Well what did you think you were getting?  Milk Stout?
There was more cricket on the BBC last night.
Aye.  It was England against the West Indies in 1995.
Yes I remember that match.  The lad got a hat trick.
That's right.  Dominic Cummings.
No, not Dominic Cummings.
Well it was Dominic something.
You're right.
Wasn't Raab was it?
No.  It was Cork.  Dominic Cork.
Of course I remember now.  Old Corky.
That's him.
Got a hat trick.
Do you know he also trod on his wicket when he was batting.  Bails come off and everything.
Wasn't he out?
No.  He stayed in.
Well, that sounds more like Dominic Cummings.  Are you sure it wasn't him?
No, it was Corky all right.  That was his second Test match.  He took 7-43 in his first.  Best debut for England ever.
And then a hattrick.
And a 50.
That's why they called him the new Botham for a while.
They did.
Kiss of death that is. 
They called me that for a while too.
What the kiss of death?
No, the new Botham.
You? The kiss of death is more like it.  I remember when you used to umpire.  Your finger went up faster than the skipper's Porsche.  We used to call you Trigger.
If it's out you've got to give it.
Yes, but you're meant to wait till the ball's been bowled.
Well, I might as well have been the new Botham - almost everybody was then.  DeFreitas, Lewis, White, Gough.
Yes and Corky.  But he wasn't.
No.  He was just the old Corky.
Still.  Imagine a hat trick in a Test Match.
Did you ever get a hat trick?
Oh yes.  Loads of times.
How many?
Loads.
How many?
Well.... none, if you want to be pedantic about it.  But that's not the point.
Isn't it?
Not really.  I had the wickets, it was just the balls in between that messed it up.
George, man, it wasn't just the balls in between the wickets, it was the games in between them that messed it up.
But Corky was a lad.  He used to put that white paint across his nose didn't he?
That's right. 
I did that once.  I couln't get it off after the match.
You weren't meant to use Dulux.
I know that now.
You for another beer?
I'd better not.  There doesn't seem to be a toilet anywhere about.
No, they're still off limits.
I'll have to tie a knot in it as it is.
It's a pity then you don't have a cork to put in it.