On an anniversary

Sandy.

George.

You off somewhere?

Yes, I've got to get an anniversary present.

Well, Happy Anniversary.  How many years is that now?

Two.  

Two?  You've been married more than two years.  

Married, what's that to do with anything?  This is important, 2 years ago, 10 June 2018.

Eh?

Scotland beat England.  Weren't you there?

No, I had to go to our Alison's wedding.

Bad luck.

Aye, I tried to get out of it, but they insisted the Father of the Bride went.

Oh, aye, and who was that?

Me - that was me.  Alison's my eldest.  

Oh - I thought she got married.

She did, that's what I'm saying.  I had to go to her wedding rather than the Grange.  Mind you, I was listening to the ball-by-ball through my ear-piece.  That didn't go down too well.

Oh?

Well, we got Joe Root run out. I couldn't stop myself.  I yelled out, "Yes, ya beauty' 

Anyone would.

It was right in the middle of the vows. 

Ah.

Then just as the Minister said, 'You may now kiss the bride.'

Don't tell me

Ally Evans got Morgan.

Ya beauty!  

Aye, well, I was up standing on the pew, 'Evvo, Evvo....'

Oh dear.  How did Sandra take it?

If I'm honest, I don't think she was best pleased.  As I jumped up I knocked her new hat off.

Oh no.

And the floral decoration on it flew off.

No.

And landed in the cleavage of the groom's mother.  

No.

So she jumps up, startled and lets out a banshee scream.  Nearly shattered the stained glass.  That gets all the bairns going, so they all start wailing.  Then Uncle Jack's guide dog joined in.  And that caused the PA system to feedback.

That sounds terrible.

It was terrible - I couldn't hear the next over.