Thursday, 22 March 2012

Hot Streaks

Falkirk man
leaves pants
in dangerous place
The years rolled by for Fantasy Bob earlier this week as he read of the Ross County v Falkirk football match last weekend.  When Ross County opened the scoring, a streaker came on to the pitch chased by the usual assortment of unfit roly-poly stewards in da-glo jackets.  In many sporting events the catching of the streaker can be more entertaining and exciting than the interrupted match itself.  This incident was certainly one of the more entertaining, for the streaker had not fully disrobed and his underpants were still round his knees.  After a short sprint, they slipped and brought him crashing to the ground.  More coaching required on streaking technique.

At one time streakers were an essential part of a Test Match. None is more famous than the dash of Michael Angelow at Lords in 1975 during the Ashes Test.  Angelow with due modesty kept his socks and shoes on for his adventure and was properly respectful of cricket - he said later that he waited until the end of Lillee's over because he loved the game and didn't want to disrupt it. The magistrate looked upon the incident lightly and fined him only £10 - the exact amount bet against him by his mates. His friends stood in the courtroom and applauded before cheerfully paying his fine.  The Falkirk streaker copped a fine of £500.  No one applauded.

The most celebrated streak in cricket
Angelow gets on
the honours board at Lords
In those halcyon days the cameras would stay on the event and the commentators would enjoy a few innuendos as well as tut-tutting at the interruption to play.  It all seemed quite benign. But this innocence quickly was lost.  Some streaks were done for a bet among the lads - or lasses - after drink had been taken.  Some were charitable ventures.  But there was a trend where some of the more comely streakers were commercial ventures with advertising slogans in indiscreet places.  And the worm turned. Old Trafford was threatened with losing its Test status because of repeated interruptions by streakers during the Test against the W Indies in 2000. Then some po faced high heedjin at the BBC decreed that streakers were not to be given the oxygen of publicity.  They are no longer shown on screen. But any viewer knows that when the pictures on screen become totally random and the commentators speak even more gibberish than usual, there is bare flesh on the ground.

Victory to Symonds
by a short arm
Streaking may therefore be dying out at cricket, and Fantasy Bob can confirm that his All Stars Carlton Fourth XI's efforts have ever been interrupted by such an event.  A match was interrupted by a platoon of naked cyclists protesting against something or other.  But that is another thing.

In Australia of course they have a different attitude.  Greg Chappell had a few run ins with streakers using his bat to good effect against bare buttocks.  But the prize for the direct approach goes to Andrew Symonds who felled a streaker at an ODI against India in 2008, and was immediately recruited by the Australian rugby team.  So Australian streakers know the risks.  With such as Chappell and Symonds to dodge it is unlikely that they would leave their underpants in such a position as to trip them up.  As in other areas, Scottish sport has so much to learn.

2 comments:

  1. The weather militates against such behaviour in Scotland, as it does in so many other areas of national life. The British Open golf championship at St Andrews was interrupted a few years ago by a lap-dancer from Methil but I cannot recall many other incidences. Yet another activity in which Scotland is doomed not to excel.

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    Replies
    1. Nil desperandum - we are capable of excellence as shown at Ross County.

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