BBC Awards Scandal

The coveted
 Sportswoman's Trophy

Fantasy Bob understands that chastened BBC bosses have rapidly reviewed the shortlist for the recently launched Sports Woman of the Year.  There has been consternation across the nation that their first attempt at a shortlist contained no women. There was even further outrage that it contained 3 golfers who neither  women nor have any connection with sport.

It is not only feminists who have pointed out the error of this in a year in which SportsWomen have achieved so much.  .......er...........Fantasy Bob cannot for the life of him think of any who have done so............er................... Angela Merkel comes to mind for all round performance in the heavy events but he is not sure if she qualifies.  But he is sure that these critics must be right and so he shares their outrage.

FB has only just recovered from the shattering news that he himself was omitted from consideration, despite having had a record year at the biscuit plate. An FB supporter (who prefers to remain anonymous) said 'Just because FB is not a woman is no reason to exclude him from this award.  We all know he's absolutely hopeless but that usually gets you pretty far in this competition.' 

Liz McColgan

FB is further amazed that there are 2 cricketers in the shortlist - thus fulfilling all quotas for the rest of the decade.  Andrew Strauss and Alistair Cook have been nominated although they are not the highest achieving cricketers this year by any means.  The last cricketer to win the award was Andrew Flintoff in 2005 and 3 other cricketers have been winners, Ian Botham (1981), David Steele (1975) and Jim Laker (1956).  4 Scottish athletes have won, the most recent being Liz McColgan in 1991.  She is certainly a woman and a personality.

Panda - trophy is in the bag.

BBC bosses have looked at the PR disaster on their hands. They have held thier heads in their hands.  They recognise that this is a bonus threatening position.  So they have acted quickly.

They have therefore announced that they will increase the shortlist by including the Pandas recently arrived at Edinburgh Zoo.  The Chinese authorities have assured them that the Pandas have a solid year of sporting achievement behind them, mainly in the bamboo eating events.

Bookies have made the Pandas firm favourites for the coveted Sportsperson of the Year trophy.