Wednesday, 28 September 2011

And God Created Cricket

Today Fantasy Bob wishes happy birthday to Brigitte Bardot, who is 77 today.

Bardot as locomotive
Fantasy Bob would like to apologise if what comes next appears to any of the strong feminist group within his world wide readership of 3 to be unreconstructed sexist thinking.  In his defence FB will cite no less an authority than Simone de Beauvoir who held Ms Bardot to be a "locomotive of women's history" and  the first and most liberated woman of post-war France.  Some locomotive.  FB present the illustrations strictly for scientific reasons. 

It is however a failing of Ms de Beauvoir's writings that, whatever their other merits, she fails to address issues that cricketers legitimately could look to her for guidance on.  For example, just as she contended that she was not born a woman but became one - it might be considered, from an existential point of view, whether Stuart Broad was born Stuart Broad or became Stuart Broad. 

But then Ms Bardot's work is also light in its cricketing reference.  It is a rumour not fully confirmed by documentary evidence that director Roger Vadim originally had a conception of a film script titled 'And God Created Short Fine Leg' but changed his ideas on meeting Ms Bardot.  He hastily adapted his script which became  'And God Created Woman'.  Whether that is the case or not, with the release of this film in 1956, the legend was born as the skimpily clad Ms Bardot pouted and flirted her way through the movie to international stardom and a secret place in every male adolescent's heart.

Fantasy Bob wonders how Ms Bardot's bowling average compares with a latter day rival.  Readers will be tired of his repeated and gratuitious references to Indian model Poonam Pandey.  Ms Pandey may well have many claims to fame but she is known to FB for incentivising the Indian cricket team prior to the World Cup Final in March this year with her offer to strip naked for them.  So powerful was that incentive that the Indians swept to victory.  So devastating has been the effect of her failure to honour her side of the bargain, that the Indian team was reduced to the walking shadows that we saw in England during the summer.  That is Pandey power which may entitle her to claim that she is a latterday locomotive of women's history.

Bardot of course never made such an offer - perhaps because there was no French cricket team to stimulate.  But in 1956 England won the Ashes 2-1 in a series that included Laker's Test at Old Trafford.   Laker took 46 wickets in the series at 9.60.  Would an offer from Ms Bardot to bare her all have improved his performance?  We can only speculate. 


  1. He who must not be named tells me that he was intrigued to learn that he shares a birth date with Ms Bardot; even if the actual events were ten years apart.

  2. Many Happy Returns to him too - what is Simone de Beauvoir's view of him?