Notwithstanding the success of Fantasy Bob's great friend and dancing partner Mark Ramprakash in the contest, FB has never really got the point of the popular TV show Strictly Come Batting. He was therefore unexcited by the prospect of a new series of the show this Autumn. But his equanimity has been disturbed.
Fantasy Bob has a strong stomach. He can stand most things. He has umpired opening partnerships by those Carlton greats Barnacle and Bluto without that feeling of vague ennui that has laid many others helpless. But he was wholly unprepared for the sight of a middle ranking cricketer such as Ann Widdicombe in a spangly dress and tiara. Particularly since he chanced upon this remarkable image inadvertently as Ms Widdicombe beamed out of the TV set in a BBC advertisement for the new show. No health warning was given before this appearance and it was before the watershed.
FB is now wholly traumatised, afraid that the apparition will appear again any time he turns the set on. He looks to his readers to advise him when Ms Widdicombe is safely back in the hutch. FB suspects that her innings will be short since she has a tendency to play across the line at anything pitched up. He looks forward to receiving the news that he can turn the TV on again in safety.