FB suspects this artefact must really be an English helmet, a remnant from the early Cedrolithic period excavated during the end of season clear up at Carlton's Grange Loan HQ. He does not understand how this valuable artefact was sneaked away under the noses of Carlton's management.
But all is not lost, FB's reliable source inside the Edinburgh club says that the clean up has unearthed many articles of inestimable value. Accordingly the auction rooms of the world will shortly be overburdened with a range of articles of similar status to the helmet:
- 3 batting gloves (right hand) - possibly pre-Wattsian
- 1 batting glove (left hand) - probably late-Lyonsian
- 1 batting pad slightly torn with several red marks - probably early-Aslam
- 1 fossilised wicket-keeping inner - indeterminate period
- several pairs of underpants and socks - possibly animal detritus
Carlton top brass are confident that the proceeds of the auction of these priceless relics will secure a new gang mower for doughty groundsman Magnus Moon.