Wednesday, 6 October 2010

The controversy of Edinburgh's new wicket

Fantasy Bob notes media reports that Edinburgh City Council are considering sacking the contractors who have been laying the new wicket in Princes Street.  He is not surprised.  There is no evidence that these contractors have the first bit of knowledge about cricket or the preparation of quality surfaces.

What media reports do not reveal, but which FB has on good authority, is that heading the running to take over the project is none other than Carlton's doughty groundsman Moon.  Moon will lead a consortium of taxi drivers to repair the damage to the City's prime playing surface and ensure its availability for the start of the new season.  The practice facilities in Leith Walk will follow once the holes in the surface have been filled in.

Commenting on his new project Moon said, 'How on earth these ******* bandits charged £500m for what they've done so far is beyond me.  I've seen no evidence of the light roller being used appropriately. The important thing is to scarify the surface before the first frost.  After that a few sessions in the spring with the heavy roller will ensure the surface Edinburgh deserves.'


  1. The doughty groundsman himself, or Magnus as he prefers to be known (though any honorific of like meaning will do) wishes to point out that, in the editing, his comments on the Princes Street project have become a little scrambled. The timing of the appropriate use of the light roller has become confused.

    He is adamant that simply belting it with the heavy roller in the spring will do more harm than good. Magnus also notes that Fantasy Bob is a frequent respondent to calls for assistance on the ground at Carlton; and he is very appreciative of that. He is sure that, as a result, FB cannot fail to have noticed the careful preparation that takes place every spring, including the use of rollers of increasing weight, before the heavy roller is deployed.

    Magnus also threatens that, if this sort of confusion becomes endemic, he will be forced to bore the world by putting into the blogosphere the notes he has made over the years (though sadly in need of some revision) on necessary operations on the ground at Carlton.

  2. Magnus many thanks. FB fully accepts your point that the light roller is important and that over reliance on the heavy roller would be inadvisable and have disastrous consequences throughout the season. He is deeply ashamed that his reporting could have been interpreted otherwise. Your stress on this fact confirms his view that the sooner you take over this contract the better. FB is sure that there are many appropriate receptacles for your notes.