Sunday, 15 January 2012


Fantasy Bob would like to think he is gastronomically adventurous.  He will after all eat any Empire Biscuit - he is not fussy like some diners about which empire - Roman, Byzantine, Austro-Hungarian even British, it doesn't matter.

He was also part of moves to take a more radical approach to the cricket tea.

FB is therefore interested  to read of another very expensive restaurant which serves dishes of some originality to those who have £150 to spend on dinner. This is a restaurant which takes its diners to  pleasures of the plate far beyond the chicken nugget or the fish finger.

The Noma restaurant in Copenhagen has recently gained some attention for serving Christmas trees to its patrons.  FB fully supports this development - at this time of the year the streets are filled with abandoned Christmas trees, which stand forlorn and cold in wind, visibly getting balder by the minute waiting to be disposed of.  In all respects uncannily like FB in the slips.  Why not put them to better use?  The restaurant  serves freeze dried pine needles as part of its menu - presumably to those who like the taste of disinfectant.  FB is sure that they are working on a dish for the rest of the tree.

FB thinks that a British gastronome should follow this example.  There is lots of discarded cricket equipment which could form the basis of an exciting new cuisine.  For example, FB's cracked bat might well be marinated in a strong red wine, to bring out the linseed taste, then slow roasted with herbs.  Finely sliced and served with foie gras, it would present a most agreeable hors d'ouevre.  Then the cricket ball after a season being smacked about in the nets should have flavour enough to pep up a sorbet which might be accompanied by a coulis made of liniment and sunscreen.  Even FB's socks discarded after his marathon spell up the hill against the wind would form a flavoursome consomme.  A cook needs only a little imagination.

The Noma restaurant also serves dishes which are based on live ants or live prawns.  Fielders therefore should take care to keep moving in case they too end up in the soup.

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