Clarkson

Clarke turns the screw on Dhoni
by pointing out the satellite
which transmitted Clarkson's programme

Fantasy Bob can report exclusively to his readers that the Board of Control for Cricket in India is considering following the action of the Indian High Commission in London by lodging a strongly worded protest with the British Broacasting Corporation. Well they might.

The Indian High Commission has formally objected to the programme by Jeremy Clarkson broadcast over the Christmas period which was filmed in India and made a string of jokes about Indian food, clothes, toilets, trains and the country's history.

FB understands that a series of so-called hilarious moments during the show included Clarkson driving a Jaguar around an Indian slum with a toilet fitted in the boot, and stripping off his trousers in public in front of two Indian dignitaries to show them how to use a trouser press. He joked that he used it to make naan bread.

The BCCI has said that the Indian batsmen had looked forward to this programme as a highlight of their Christmas viewing. However its offensive tone and mocking of Indian culture had so undermined their morale that their collapse to 161 all out against Australia on the first day of the 3rd Test was inevitable.

 MS Dhoni told Fantasy Bob in an exclusive interview, 'I used to be a bit of a fan of Clarkson but never again will I giggle at his offensive poses, his arrogant insensitivity to people different from him and his attention seeking rants. His continuing dismissal of climate change has distressed me to the extent that I increasingly forget where my off stump is. We demand an apology from the BBC and easier bowling from the Australians.'

FB is with the Indians on this.  If there is one media person who gets up FB's nose big time, it is Clarkson.  FB would rather face leg spin bowling from both ends than watch any of Clarkson's programmes. It is switch-off time even when he appears on Have I Got News For You or QI. And now through these ill considered and unfunny jokes he has single handedly undermined what FB and other cricket fans hoped would be a highly competitive Test series and made it a one sided torment.  The BBC should be ashamed of their role in this conspiracy.

FB is aware of the irony of giving Clarkson free publicity in this rant. He looks forward to Clarkson returning the favour by endorsing FB's Witterings in his over frequent media opportunities.