Wednesday, 20 July 2011

Fit and proper

The Parliamentary Committee
warms up for its grilling of FB
There have been questions raised in Parliament as to whether Fantasy Bob, the patriarchical head of the vast media empire behind the Witterings Blog, is a fit and proper person for ........well, anything really.  There have been claims that his vast media empire has exerted undue influence on its 3 strong world wide audience.  They are alleged to have regularly travelled vast distances (often as far as across the road) to court his support.  Politicians are said to have gone in fear of his views in case he criticised them for playing across the line.  The outcome of elections has been said to have hung on his views of the cricketing credentials of candidates.  He must now face the backlash.

Fantasy Bob has offered to be grilled by a committee of the House of Commons to explain why he considers he is a fit and proper person.  In his defence he will point out that

  • he has no library books overdue,
  • he always puts his recycling bins out on the correct day,
  • he was an active member of the Boys Brigade between ages 11 and 17,
  • the only financial relationship he has had with the police is when he handed in a £5 note he found in Union Street Aberdeen at the age of 8,
  • he regularly offers his seat on the bus to the few people who look even older than he does,
  • he always brings extra sandwiches to home matches,
  • he has always treated Ms Poonam Pandey with gentlemanly courtesy.
Fantasy Bob also stresses he is not responsible for anything - both his batting and bowling happens by chance or is teh product of one of his 55,000 underlings.

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