Saturday, 16 July 2011

Skipper resigns

Skipper no more
Fantasy Bob is sure his faithful trio of readers have been shocked by events in the Murdoch Cricketing Empire.

After a week of national turmoil, the flame haired skipper of NOTW CC has tendered her resignation.  A week ago NOTW CC withdrew from its remaining fixtures following accusations of ball tampering.  The skipper remained in place in a coaching role.

Allegations against the club have since widened and now include making inappropriate payments to umpires of the Metropolitan Umpires Association to secure that they would overlook previous suggestions of ball tampering made by rival club Guardian CC.  Payments are said also to have been made to secure advance notice of LBW decisions which were then used by the team to titivate their match reports.  The club's position worsened when it was revealed that not only have Test cricketers such as Hugh Grant and Steve Coogan been bowled at with illegal actions, so have ordinary cricketers including members of the 7/7 Victims CC.

The Committee of NOTW CC tried hard to defend their captain saying that her leadership on the field remained exceptional.  Most cricketers agreed that it was exceptional, but for all the wrong reasons.  Eventually however the Committee recognised that once a club's captain is nationally derided as a witch, the innings has to close.

NOTW CC was at the top of the National Sunday League, regularly scoring over 1.5 million runs.  Their batting relied heavily on the scoop shot.  Discussions are underway as to whether these runs will be divided between the remaining clubs in the league or whether a new club will be admitted to the league.  A senior judge has been appointed to examine the league rules closely to ensure that they can protect against future risks of similar lack of sportsmanship in member clubs.

The East of Scotland Cricket Association is monitoring developments carefully.  However it is not thought that there is any connection between this resignation and recent resignations from captaincy positions by Kevin Pietersen, Ricky Ponting, Kumar Sangakkara, Graeme Smith, Daniel Vettori, or Shahid Afridi.   The world of cricket can relax in the knowledge that Fantasy Bob remains in his position as skipper of the Carlton 4th XI - the go ahead Edinburgh club issued a statement confirming that his leadership in the field remains non-existent.  FB has yet to branded as a witch.