Some students of Fantasy Bob’s nonsense may be less than fully familiar with the iconic figure of Dizzeee Khartah and are wondering what on earth FB is all about. (Not an unusual experience for many who chance on this quaint corner of the blogosphere.)
Me hide me bling When me umpiring |
But in the course of last season, FB revealed that DC has a secret identity. At the shake of a golden necklace he will transform himself into the bling encrusted Dizzeee Khartah, Portobello’s favourite rap star. In his raps he seeks to emulate Mr Dizzee Rascal to address the challenges facing today's inner city youth, particularly in getting bargain prices at selective retail outlets.
Disgracefully, the Brit judges have overlooked Dizzeee’s claims in favour of a clutch of artists that no one (well FB anyway) has heard of, and another set of artists to whom no one but the terminally tone deaf would listen. FB suspects he is being pandered to by the inclusion in the lists of aging heavy hitting bat Robert Plant. He is not so easily fooled.
Many cricket fans thought that the category of Breakthrough Artist would at least recognise the work of Steve Finn. Even more amazingly this is one set of awards that Sachin Tendulkar is not set to dominate.
But to demonstrate the artistic quality that has so capriciously been spurned by the judges, here is a sample of Dizzeee’s recent work:
Test Match Quality. It's the Brits' loss.Yeah, yeah, we bring the stars out
We bring the bats and the balls and the pads out
Let's have a four, a maiden over, get a run out
And we can do this until we pass out
Tinie Tempah he ain’t as cool as Dizzeee KhartahThat high fashion it’s ma passion I’m a martyrBut at Lidl it’s a fiddle a disasterTheir bling ain’t gold leaf but painted plaster
Dizzy Rascal thinks he’s cool but he’s a hoboCos I’m cruising Portobello in ma VolvoBut with the girls man it always seems no – noCos my fashion sense is all been got in CostCo
Yeah, yeah, we bring the stars out
We bring the bats and the balls and the pads out
You’ve had a swing they say howzat, and man that’s you out
And we can do this until we pass out
If you want to compare Dizzeee's work with Mr Tinie Tempah's inferior original Pass Out here's a link.
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