Thursday, 14 June 2012

Opening Ceremony

Fantasy Bob is still coming to terms with the news.  He is completely disoriented by it.  He is trying hard to understand.  Details of the Olympic opening ceremony were unveiled earlier this week together with a model of what the arena will look like for this history making event.  It is, as many observers have pointed out, a comic book representation of a green and pleasant land that is barely recognisable as modern Britain. In fact it is completely unrecognisable - no windmills, motorways or IKEAs. The more cynical commentators have dubbed it Tellytubby Land.  FB understands their drift.

But FB rejects this cynicism.  For what he sees is the attempt by the Olympic Organisers to redeem themselves in FB's eyes.  Long has he criticised the event not only for its special capacity to waste vast sums of money for little positive lasting outcome, but for its inexplicable refusal to place cricket in its schedule in favour of pseudo sports not native to these isles.

The opening ceremony scene
However someone in the creative team has shown more imagination than the scheduling team, for in the images so far released of the arena can be clearly seen a cricket match.  It is taking place in the shadow of a very large daffodil.  FB wonders which ground this is modelled on; he has experienced many sights behind the bowler's arm but never a 30ft daffy.   FB hesitates to say that the match is in progress, for there is no bowler or wicket-keeper, far less umpires, but even so it cannot be denied that this is cricket.  Adding to the reality is the fact that specially designed clouds are rolling in over the match and the Director has promised that rain will actually fall from them.  So the crowd will be treated to a representation of that proud British tradition Rain Stopped Play.

FB has yet to establish whether the cricketers who will populate this part of the display will be real cricketers.   Since the other parts of the display are said to be populated with real sheep and chickens, it would be disappointing if the cricketers were just actors or, even worse, dancers dressed up as cricketers.  It is therefore still not clear whether the Olympic Committee has done enough to be redeemed in FB's eyes.  They need to keep trying.


  1. Perhaps every cricket ground should have a 30ft daffodil as a backdrop. Carlton could set the pace here by commissioning one. There is a roundabout in Glenrothes which features similarly-sized irises - one of those might do instead. Extra runs could be awarded to any batsman who lands the ball inside the giant flower. The possibilities are infinite.

    1. FB never envisaged you as a conceptual artist. Clearly he will have to re-evaluate.