|Jury's idea of a football boot|
The club whose grass suffered the torment of this footwear are unimpressed and have complained with some vigour to CricketScotland - what will they do? Should a club have the right to object to footwear which they consider to be injurious to their playing surface? After all clubs generally request trainers or flat soles when matches are played on artificial wickets. Why should a similar request not be appropriate for grass wickets? What view will CS reach?
Carlton Cricket Club respectfully requests visiting sides to subject their proposed footwear to the inspection of our doughty groundsman prior to entering the field of play. Our doughty groundsman's view on whether the footwear is appropriate is final. To assist travelling teams, our doughty groundsman has issued the following guidelines.
|Not joke footwear|
- any football boot of any shape form or colour but most particularly any model endorsed by Wayne Rooney or John Terry;
- crampons - and our doughty groundsman does not consider the suggestion that they are necessary to field on Carlton's legendary hill the slightest bit funny and any player uttering it will be asked to play barefoot;
- ski boots, stilts, tap dancing shoes or crocodile skin loafers are rarely likely to be appropriate footwear.
- cricket boots or shoes - other than those orange and blue things that every second player in the IPL seems to have on his feet;
- training shoes of all sorts, other than those naff retro Adidas ones;
- astros (whatever they are);
- comfortable slippers - particularly recomended for the more mature members of the Fourth XI;
- stilettos may be worn under direct supervision of our doughty groundsman when the pitch is in need of scarifying - other than in the case of Ms Poonam Pandey who may wear - or not wear - anything she likes at any time;
- ballet shoes may be worn by the prima donnas in the side such as opening batsmen.
|Opening batsman's boots|
|The Poonam Pandey scarifier|
Players will also wish to note that our doughty groundsman has a supply of clown's shoes which he will make available to players in the light of the characteristics of their dismissal.