Curled up on the sofa FB perused its contents with relish. One of the charms of this volume is that it changes genre each year - just as the SNCL has changed this year with its new much............er loved 16 team format. This year there is a profound mystery at the heart of its narrative.
There is a shadowy figure whose unnamed and unidentified presence gives a eerie feeling to each page. Not since the work of Edgar Allen Poe or Stephen King has a literary work had such a chilling impact on FB. For the handbook introduces readers to a doughty figure who is eternally vigilant, and who may well fight for truth and justice, but will certainly do anything to win the neverending war against thatch. This character first appears on page 7 where the well loved dramatis personae of the go ahead Edinburgh club Carlton are introduced - Watts and Flynn, Boyd and Robertson and President Dizzee Khartah. All well and good. But then, mysteriously, beside the entry for groundsman there is a blank. For Carlton's curator is The Groundsman With No Name.
Suggestions that this is due to a cock up on the form filling front by the go ahead Edinburgh club's mighty administrative machine have been rejected. A spokesman told FB, 'No this is deliberate. It has been clear to us all for some time that our doughty groundsman has supernatural powers. We dare not invoke his wrath by printing his name in any document associated with CricketScotland. We must venerate his every action so that he can continue to produce week in week out the finest playing surfaces in Scotland. He must remain The Groundsman With No Name.'
|The Groundsman With No Name |
- on a mission to avenge