Wednesday, 3 November 2010

In defence of Mike Kennedy

Fantasy Bob has been led to understand that a group calling themselves The Wonder Years have recorded a piece entitled Mike Kennedy is a bad friend.  He does not understand what this ensemble have against the legendary Carlton batter, but quite frankly, in comparison with MK's sublime skills with the willow, the musical quality of this piece is lamentable.  It is a distorted amalgam of the worst elements of heavy metal and punk.  If there are lyrics in the piece they seem to be pre-verbal utterances.   The cacophony may of course be a devastating satirical riposte to Stockhausen.  It may be post-modern ultra-ironic neo-minimalist anti-music of the highest high-brow design and so commend itself to the Pinot Grigio sipping classes.  Even so, only the tone deaf or terminally stupid could find any merit in it.
Where are these so called Wonder Years?

So, all in all, FB does not think Mike should worry unduly about this slight.  In fact, FB thinks that The Wonder Years could well remind themselves of Boom Boom's legendary innings of 103 in 2009 against Peebles.  11 maximums in his ton.  Now that is a sign of the quality of the man and popular culture needs to wake up to this achievement.  So it is only right that Carlton and Portobello's own rap star Dizzeee Khartah's  latest album eulogises this event.  (For those who have not beeen following the story, Dizzeee is also known as the respected President of Carlton CC who midseason took to rapping like a duck to orange sauce).

Here is a short extract from this major new work:
'leven sixes to the ton
An' I don' think da bowler's havin' fun
Tho dey say,  Dizzeee, man, ya should be retirin’
But Kennedy's a bro and he's inspirin'
If he can do it - I can do it
An' I gotta work on thru' it
So, bros, I's well fit to keep on battlin'
Cos I jus’ bought me bran' new shirt at Mat'lan
FB finds the poetry in this simple statement deeply moving - such art cannot be praised too highly.  

The Wonder Years? Hah! - not fit to bowl at Boom Boom in the nets.

(Dizzeee Khartah is reported to be working on his Christmas album).


  1. Does this talk of a Christmas album suggest that Portobello's finest rapper may be turning more commercial? If so, do we have to worry about his availabilty next season with the lure of the summer festival circuit?

  2. Dear Pub Landlord, FB is unclear whether you worried about Dizzeee's availability or his non-availability?

  3. Clearly his non-availability - mainly due to the potentially disastrous impact on his creative mojo that the lack of game time would cause. (Nothing to do with his ability to bowl 8 or 9 overs, take several wickets for not very many - or the size of his car!)

  4. FB thanks you for this clarification. He thinks you should refer issues concerning creative mojos to the newly formed Creative Scotland.