A series of damning reports were printed in a national newspaper yesterday which reviewed the Fourth XI's mediocre performance during the 2011 season. They noted that the team wholly failed to make the World Cup final and attributed this to a series of disciplinary problems. Some players including, indeed specifically, the so-called skipper appeared motivated by biscuits and the thought of tea rather than pride in performance. The reports describe how there was uncertainty throughout the team whenever chocolate cake was on the table, with players unable to identify the tactics that the skipper wished them to use. Consequently some used a plate others just pawed the cake into their mouths. The report notes that the club's management and supporters expected greater consistency in approach. While allegations of dwarf throwing were not confirmed, there were other concerns over off field discipline. In particular, the approach to washing the tea things often left a lot to be desired.
|'You can't pin this on us.......'|
Fantasy Bob was unavailable for comment, his personal staff said he had just popped out to get a couple of empire biscuits to have with his tea.