Sweater Etiquette

There is more to report from the ever fascinating world of what the new-normal will look like on the cricket field.

Bowlers will be discouraged from handing their sweaters, or caps, or presumably sunglasses since these seem to be essential to the modern game, to the umpire for safekeeping. 

No more

The concern about sweater hygiene is not surprising.  Fantasy Bob is sure that it is only the effectiveness of his immune system which has protected him during his own umpiring spells.   Even in those non-covid days not so long ago, he would recoil from the moth-eaten disease-ridden objects that were thrust at him with a mumbled 'Cheers umps, right arm over.'  He has been tempted to inquire when the sweater was last washed - if indeed it ever has been.  But before he can do so, the bowler has vanished to the distant end of his run.  FB must therefore, with some delicacy, tie the germ laden breeding ground round his waist or shoulders, whichever seems likely to be less injurious to his continuing health.  He has tried on occasion to hold his breath for the duration of the over -  but it turns him a peculiar shade of purple to the extent that the opposition captain is likely to call the emergency services.

If sweaters are bad, then taking temporary guardianship of a bowler's cap can be even more unpleasant.  The sweat of the brow may be a concept of some nobility.  But for FB, that nobility ends when a slightly warm but wholly damp cap is thrust into his hand. 

FB will concede that he may be as much a sinner as sinned against in these matters.  There was a time, before the invention of modern wind-cheating sweaters, when he took to the field bound up like Michelin man with several layers of cable knit.  These would be peeled off one by one as he progressed through his over to the evident pleasure of the umpire.  On many occasions, FB suspected that the additional weight and the effort of tying them round himself immobilised an umpire's arms making it impossible for him to raise his finger on FB's stone dead appeals.

So new sweater etiquette will be part of the new-normal.  Presumably the bowler will not be allowed to hand his sweater to anyone else for fear of infecting them.  Folding it up and placing it behind the wicketkeeper or umpire risks the 5 run penalty, and folding things neatly, indeed folding things at all, is well beyond 98% of the players FB has ever played with.  There seems no other solution than that the bowler must deposit his sweater, cap etc beyond the boundary presumably in a quarantine zone in case anyone else comes into contact with it.  This is OK if he is fielding on the boundary but if not likely it is another rigmarole imposing yet another delay in play . 

Greater minds than FB's must therefore determine the appropriate behaviour.  FB might decide just to keep his sweater on.