Pride and Prejudice in Lockdown

Many years ago Fantasy Bob reported how the true version of  Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice had a cricketing theme which had been removed by its editor prior to publication.  A further excerpt from the original manuscript has now been discovered which indicates a remarkable prescience of the current situation on Ms Austen's part.

Mr Bennet had not found the days of lockdown fully to his taste.  He was not ill-disposed to maintaining social distance in itself; indeed, he took it as an endorsement of his own sound practice made habitual by the long hours he spent in his study in solitary endeavour.  Nor, when he considered it carefully, did he find less than sufficient exercise the single permitted daily excursion, be it in the form of a gentle walk around the orchard or a more energetic ambulation owards the village of Meryton.  But he was greatly troubled by the implications of the constrained conditions for his role as coach of the Meryton Cricket Club.  As he looked up from the edifying volume on his lap, he could gaze from his study window to see the nets lying empty as practice has been cancelled sine die.  Beyond them, the square lay closely cut with the promise of runs but unmarked, unused and unregarded.

'And to think', he lamented to Mrs Bennet, as they sat together in the front parlour, 'that this weekend should have seen the annual fixture between Meryton and Netherfield.'

'Mr Bennet!' exclaimed his spouse.  'You take delight in vexing me. You have no compassion as to my poor nerves.  Have I to remind you that you have five daughters, all unmarried and with the constraints of this lockdown no gentlemen can come close.  I do think we are the most unfortunate family in all the county. And yet all you can think of is cricket.  I say fie on your cricket - what I would not give for a ball at Netherfield.'

'Why Mrs Bennet, you do me a disservice. Your daughters once had nothing much to recommend them, being silly and ignorant like any other girls.  But they have all made significant progress by being in my performance squad, even poor Mary.  And Lizzie, who has always had something more about her, has turned into a most accomplished all rounder - she has the most elegant cover drive.'  

'And what good will an elegant cover drive do her, I ask you. A girl like Lizzie needs a husband with four thousand a year.'

But Mr Bennet's attention was elsewhere. 'And I felt so sure that this year the team could lift the trophy.  Even though I had heard that Mr Bingley had invited his friend Mr D'Arcy to turn out.'

Hearing this name uttered in her parlour, drove Mrs Bennet to further agony,  'You vex me further, Mr Bennet. I cannot hear that name and maintain my silence. He is such a disagreeable man that it would have been unfortunate to have been liked by him.'

'That may be so my dear, but he is a fine bat, if inclined to give it the charge before he is properly set.'

As his spouse prepared her response to this sentiment, the couple's further endearments were interrupted when their daughters burst excitedly into the room.  They had used their statutory exercise period for some cricket practice.

'Papa, you'll never guess!' squealed Jane, usually so demure and sensible. 'I just ramped Lydia for 6.'

'Did you my dear?' said her father, suppressing the pride in his voice in due consideration of the nerves of his espoused.

'Oh!  I so wish we had that match with Netherfield on Saturday, for I'd do the same to Mr Bingley.'

At the mention of Mr Bingley, a loud sob broke from Mrs Bennet as her nerves threatened once again to overwhelm her. 

'Nobody can tell what I suffer!  But it is always so.  Those who do not complain are never pitied.'

A careworn sigh escaped the lips of Mr Bennet, as it had on many previous occasions.  He smiled kindly at his distressed partner, confident that sooner or later she would recover her composure.  He turned to his favourite daughter having noticed that her eye shone with that characterically pretty twinkle.

'And Lizzie, what are you thinking, my child?' he asked.

'Well Papa, it is indeed a matter of great regret that our match cannot proceed on Saturday.  For I had it firmly in mind to tempt Mr D'Arcy with my doosra.'