Tuesday, 15 May 2012

Body Art

Making use of Cheerios
Fantasy Bob has long regarded his body as a temple. A ruined, decaying monument with its roof fallen in, its columns cracked and anything of value long since removed from the barren hillside on which it sits, perhaps; but a temple nonetheless.

It is only one step further to consider this temple as a work of art and FB has now found the inspiration for this important step.  The Australian Body Art Carnivale was held last weekend at Eumundi, about 40 miles north of Brisbane.  FB had never heard of this event, or indeed body art.  In any case he could not have entered this years in any event since he faced the compelling need to skipper the Carlton All Stars Fourth XI at a tricky away fixture last weekend.  However his appetite is now stimulated.

This annual event attracts 15000 spectators who see entrants paint and mould their own or models' bodies into strange creations.  The theme of this year's competition was Under the Sea and the winner was a mermaid design involving lots of blue and green paint and a face extensively decorated with the breakfast cereal Cheerios.

FB discovers that there is a wide range of body art activity with many different competitions and exhibitions all over the world.  He is unsure whether the rules require breakfast cereal as a mandatory part of any entry.  He would understand and sympathise if it were so.  But this world has opened up vistas of new possibilities for him.  He is therefore in urgent correspondence with the executive authorities at go ahead Edinburgh cricket club Carlton to encourage them to combine with the organisers of next year's Carnivale to bring a body art event to the club's Grange Loan HQ with a cricketing theme.  Entries could represent anything to do with cricket from famous players to famous incidents.  Artists' imaginations could run wild.  FB is sure many inspiring works of body art would be guaranteed.  To stimulate the competition, FB is offering his own body for the use of any artist who will make creative use of empire biscuits.  

In contrast to many previous offers FB has made for the use of his body, which were unkindly disregarded, he expects keen competition for this commission.  Artists must supply their own empire biscuits. 


  1. Not sure whether FB eating empire biscuits can be classed as Performance Art but he could give it a try. He should probably steer clear of Body Art - I understand that funds for the restoration of ancient monuments are tight these days and the results would undoubtedly disappoint.