World's Leading Cricket Blogger?

Fantasy Bob's cricketing accolades are few and far between.  His club committee was once misguided enough to award him the prestigious honour of 4th XI Batsman of the Year.  It was not without controversy. An able junior batsman, whose accumulation of runs put FB to shame, was deprived of his due reward when the statistical grad-grindery of FB's run of red ink gave him a higher average.  The youngster shortly afterwards was lost to cricket.  FB went on to imagine the award allowed him to assume an elevated place in the batting order the following season.  It needs no imagination to see the consequences.

So, awards and FB are an unhappy mixture. But FB's engaging blogging colleague DECLARATION GAME was not to know this when he recently bestowed upon FB the accolade of World's Leading Cricket Blogger. FB is of course flattered - largely by the fact that any sentient human being has noticed his efforts. But he thinks DG is wholly misguided. In his citation he comments:

I also nominate the ‘World’s Leading Cricket Blogger’ for sustained excellence and entertainment throughout the year. On this occasion, it was a sustained burst of daily blogging from 22 March to the 2 July. Bob Irvine, aka Fantasy Bob (@realfantasybob) was a welcome lockdown companion, with his Witterings covering art, music, the Aberdeen typhoid outbreak of 1964 and every step of pandemic policy – all through the prism of 4th team club cricket in Scotland. Public service blogging.

FB's handful of worldwide readers will be quick to notice that there was no reference to anything to do with cricket in this commendation. Indeed, how could there be? FB's witterings have been devoid of any sensible cricketing interest for as long as they have known him. Indeed, sensible and interest are not words readily associated with FB. But just as his previous accolade led him to an undue regard for his skill at the crease, so this accolade sounds to him as a call to arms.

FB laid down his blogging pen in July. Things seemed to be getting better. Cricket practice had started again and there was the prospect of a return to play in the not-too-distant future.  West Indies players had arrived in England and were quarantining in advance of scheduled Test matches.  Even in Scotland the sun shone.   FB's work seemed to have been done.  There seemed to be no more jokes to be wrung out of his trepidation at the imminent prospect of once again facing humiliation at the hands of junior leg-spinners.  As if there were any jokes in that matter in the first place.  FB had done his bit to keep the nation's spirits together in those difficult months.  It was time to Eat Out to Help Out, an interesting variant on FB's frequent advice to cricketing colleagues - Hit Out or Get Out.  As things turned out, FB's advice might have been more appropriate.

For things are not much advanced.  A new variant has arrived from South Africa.  In happier times an importation from S Africa might have been welcome news and it would not be long before it was opening the batting for England.     

But these are not happier times, and the authorities have made further announcements requiring everyone to stay at home for the foreseeable future.  FB's slight relief that this means that the cruelty of winter nets will be deferred, is tempered by the knowledge that many face difficult weeks ahead. 

Inspired by his recent accolade, he will do his bit. An already besieged population can look forward to more anxieties about leg-spin bowling.  For desperate times require desperate measures.  And there is nothing more desperate than FB's blogging.