On Joe Wicks and a cricketless summer

Where Fantasy Bob leads, others follow.  Undoubtedly inspired by FB's return to the blogosphere, the nation's favourite PE instructor Joe Wicks is also returning to active duty.  Lockdown deja vu.

Although FB did not follow Joe Wicks during the earlier lockdown, he maintained his own punishing routine of daily workouts.  As the weather has worsened, he is less frequently these days to be found jumping about the garden - thus sparing his neighbours from his world-beating repertoire of gasps, groans and grumps.   His indoor sessions have to be a little less frenetic (though there are still sound effects).  FB is mindful of the Biblical example of Samson whose enthusiastic commitment to home exercise brought the house down.   It would not take too many burpees for 19th Century plaster-work to collapse about FB.  A response from Mrs FB to such radical domestic redesign would be Biblically epic. Delilah trimmed Samson's locks, but it would be other more sensitive parts of FB's anatomy that would be in danger when Mrs FB wielded her shears in such circumstances.  

FB's season's aggregate lunges exceeded Tendulkar's 15291 Test runs, but did not make him any fitter for cricketing action when it was finally allowed last summer.   A chronic ankle problem rendered his previously flowing approach to the crease an impossibility and he resigned himself to the side-lines.  Teammates responded to his absence with a mixture of indifference and relief.  

But, seeing his sad face pressed against the closed gate of the ground under the 'No Spectators Allowed' sign as he strained to get a glimpse of the action, sympathy for his plight softened their hearts.  They charitably asked him to perform the duties of COVID monitor during matches - an onerous set of responsibilities requiring the expert wielding of a clip-board.  

FB was therefore careful to include clip-board-wielding-compatible exercises within his daily routine.  Not even Joe Wicks had gone this far, but FB pushes boundaries (not as a batsman, obviously, but you get the point).  FB is sure that the benefits of his regime showed in his firm well-balanced grip and control of the clipboard at all times.   It was, he thought, a sign of his class that, Lara-like, he had so much time to make his strokes as he ticked the boxes that required to be ticked.  

Teammates responded with a mixture of indifference and disregard.  Still, at least they hadn't asked him to umpire.  That was reward enough. 

Joe Wicks struggles with training for clip-board operations.