A sacrifice

One of the challenges of this period of home arrest is the restrictions it places on physical activity and the burning of calories.

Fantasy Bob has for many years been a bit of a gym bunny, spending vast tracts of each day lathering himself into a molten stew on the various instruments of torture he finds there.  His effort means a quick single is still more than a theoretical possibility, for he retains that that electric speed between the wickets.     All he needs to do is get the bat on the ball which is another kettle-ball of fish entirely.  But suddenly access is denied.  All gyms are closed.

As a substitute for his customary level of activity, the Government sanctioned daily constitutional is considerably wanting - especially as FB's fragile joints have taken enough punishment over the years to make pounding the pavements an unwise choice.   Access to an elliptical trainer or rowing machine is therefore sorely missed.  The weights rack too.

FB recognises he is not alone - there has been a surge in subscription to on-line work-outs.  He is not quite the target audience for Joe Wicks - to whom a big well done for getting the kids tired out - but he has looked far and wide on YouTube.  Just looking at most of it would tire out the fittest of the fit.

But rescue has come from closer to hand.  One of the trainers FB works with from time to time has enterprisingly set up his own virtual work-outs.  So FB, and friends and colleagues, can tune in daily for the pleasure of hearing him bark his instructions at them as they go through their paces.

Even when working at home gets in the way of this schedule and he misses the virtual gym, FB has  devised a series of punishing routines for himself.  So his neighbours have the great pleasure of continually hear all manner of thuds and bumps as he burpees and mountain climbs has way across the living room carpet and wondering when the plaster is going to give.   They must wonder if that is really what home working is meant to sound like.

A punishing schedule

But is it not enough to ensure that when the cricket season finally returns FB is able to bowl his full spell up the hill against the wind?

He has cause for concern.  FB's resting metabolic rate round is about 1800.  An empire biscuit - to which, as his handful of readers well know, FB is exceedingly partial - contains about 300kc.

So FB has taken the most difficult decision since he rashly decided to bat once last season on winning the toss.   That turned out to be a disaster as his team was skittled out on what looked to be a belter of a wicket.  He hopes this latest decision is not accompanied by similar failure.

It will make headline news; shares in Greggs and other producers will plummet even further.  But he is resolute. 

FB will forgo his daily empire biscuit until the good times return and the elliptical trainer is.once again available.  It may not be much of a sacrifice compared to those many are making on a daily basis during this crisis.  But FB has to start somewhere.
He consoles himself with thoughts of how happy the celebration will be when the conditions of house arrest are lifted.

A pleasure foregone