Saturday, 1 November 2014

An Investment Piece

Fantasy Bob recently entered the world of haute couture.  This was not a faltering attempt to curry favour with Mrs FB by adding to her collection of Chanel tops.  No, this was an innocent and unknowing brush with high fashion.

An investment piece
The coming of winter excited Mrs FB's long-running campaign that FB's wardrobe was in need of reinvestment.  His valiant claims that his present coat should be considered fashionably threadbare, finally withered before Mrs FB's scepticism.  'Big Issue sellers are not fashion icons,' she decreed, and FB had no alternative to a shopping expedition.

Shopping inspires in FB much the same feeling as when he faces leg spin bowling.  His stomach churns, his upper lip perspires, his eyes glaze over, his hands tremble.  He knows he shouldn't swing at the first thing he sees, but he can't resist.  Disaster generally follows.

Maybe FB got lucky this time.  Containing his apprehension, he bravely strode to the wicket and headed for a High Street store renowned for its military medium approach to these matters.  He duly made his purchase and returned home with only minor damage to his nervous disposition.

As he unpacked his new garment, he read for the first time one of the small library of labels which hung from it.  It told him that he had purchased an article from.......... 'a perfectly edited wardrobe of the season's latest looks, stylish investment pieces and brilliant basics..............'  An investment piece. His breast swelled with pride.

An investment piece.  The scales fell from FB's eyes.  He had not previously looked on his wardrobe as a treasure trove of liquidisable assets.

Babe Ruth's shirt
He soon discovered that dizzying sums are available for the right investment piece.  A dress worn by Marylin Monroe in The Seven Year Itch had realised $4.6 million in 2011.

Perhaps FB did not have satin gowns to match that invesment piece but even sporting items have commanded sums which could keep FB in empire biscuits for his life time.

Although cricket clothing has not commanded high prices,  a 1920 New York Yankees shirt worn by Babe Ruth was auctioned for $4.4 million.  So the market may emerge.

Surely FB could come up with something to command a premium price at the better auction houses of the world.  But his phone calls to Christies and Sothebys leave him to conclude that the market is not quite ready.  Which means that there is an unparalleled opportunity for FB's worldwide readership to get in before the market matures.  They could make a killing.

FB is offering by private sale unique investment items from his wardrobe.  These will only increase rapidly in price.  He invites bids for 2 priceless lots:

Lot #1 - FB collection of single socks, curated over many years with love and skill.  These are the socks that stayed loyal to FB through thick and thin while others wandered off who knows where. Make no mistake this collection is world class.

Lot#2 - The second lot is a set of Carlton cricket shirts bearing the logos of successive sponsors. These are shirts that have produced the world famous inswinger and have born the crumbs from a thousand cricket teas.  Unparalleled in the annals of sporting memorabilia.

Market experts are watching developments with interest.  One of them told FB that he'd never seen anything like it............................

A sample of the world class collection

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