Saturday, 13 April 2013

Season opener

Cricket resumes today at Grange Loan, HQ of go ahead Edinburgh club Carlton.  A large crowd is expected to throng the boundary for the club's pre-season friendly against visitors from Northumbria Benwill Hill CC.

Ever mindful of spectator comfort the club has issued guidance on recognising the symptoms of hypothermia.

The club's crack medical team have advised that low body temperature results in muscle mis-coordination and mental confusion.  Movements are slow and labored, accompanied by a stumbling pace and mild confusion, although the person may appear alert. The victim becomes pale. Lips, ears, fingers and toes may become blue. Members have expressed concern that this sounds like Fantasy Bob at most times.

Stewards have been told that if they see Fantasy Bob, or anyone looking remotely like him, they should immediately wrap him up in a blanket and feed him empire biscuits.  In no circumstances should they attempt to heat him up by setting fire to his feet.

Spectators coming to Grange Loan
are advised to dress appropriately for the conditions.
In a go ahead move the go ahead club has also decided to make soup available. 

This has not been an easy decision for the club's catering team and members of the menu advisory committee were divided on the appropriate soup to provide. However Fantasy Bob's request that Lobster Bisque could be served fell on deaf ears, which misheard it as Empire Bisque which they understood to be a soup made of FB's favourite biscuits.  In its wisdom the committee decided in favour of something more conventional.

The committee also promised to keep under review the possibility of making Gluhwein available if temperatures do not rise.

Carlton's pavilion in July


  1. I remember learning in physics class that, when the temperature reaches Absolute Zero (-273C), one's fingers are in danger of snapping off. FB should remember this while attempting to take a steepling catch in the deep.

    1. -273C? That's warm compared to some cricket fields FB has been on.

  2. Fantasy Cricket is a part of the Fantasy Sports genre. It is an online game where you create a virtual team of real cricket players and score points depending on how your chosen players perform in real life matches. To win a tournament, you must work towards attaining the maximum points and the No. 1 rank on the leader-board. Like any other fantasy sport, the main purpose is to give the users a simulated experience of the game. There are many variation to the game. fantasy cricket