Authority

The AGM of Handforth CC was proceeding peacefully.  The President called the Convenor of the Teas Committee to report.   Immediately a rumble of dissent in the background was heard.

- Since when did we have a Teas Committee?  And if we do have one, who's the Convenor anyway?

- I am.

- No you're not - you're the President of the Club.

- Well, I declare that I am the Convenor of the Tea Committee.

- You can't do that.  I've done the teas for years.

Other voices are raised.

- Yes, Bill's done the teas for years.

 A calmer voice tries to restore order.

- There is no way of stopping him from calling himself Convenor.  Please refer to me as Britney Spears from now on.

A moment of silence follows. More voices are raised, louder than before.  The first voice speaks again, angrier than before.

- Read the Standing Orders - read them and understand them. They don't say anything about a Teas Committee.

- Precisely.  That is why I am the Convenor.

Voices are raised again. 

- As Convenor, I move we do something about the sausage rolls.    

- Why?  I've been bringing them for years, you've never complained before.

- We didn't have a Tea Convenor before. 

- What's it got to do with you Britney Spears?

The background noise is becoming louder.

- I move we have quiche instead, and  Jackie here's got some ideas.

- Red onion, Broccoli, Goat Cheese...

           The noise becomes lounder still.   

           Some words can be picked out of the hubbub.

           - Outrageous! You must be joking! No, no, NOOOO!

           - What's wrong ?

An angry voice bellows.

- You have no asparagus here, Jackie Weaver, no asparagus at all....

Meeting falls into disorder and goes viral via Twitter and YouTube.