But the weather may have had little to do with the new spring in his step. In his hotel room he found the following exhortation.
Nature
is our most beautiful example of holistic wellness. As is wellness in the Ötz
Valley. It spurs us on to keep thinking. To create new things – to go one step
further. To grow and evolve. Our wellness concept in the Ötz Valley picks up on
this idea and achieves it in a world of simple elegance. A world where precious
materials and perfected aesthetics meet in a seductive duet with a symphony of
perfection, balance and harmony. You are invited to become acquainted with
wellness in the Ötz Valley in its purest form.
How could he resist this siren call?
Readers who have had the misfortune to
follow FB’s Witterings across the span of time will know how his every move is
a seductive duet embodying a symphony of
perfection, balance and harmony. (Particularly when he faces leg spin bowling). They
will therefore understand how he hurried to accept the invitation to become
acquainted with wellness in its purest form.
With simple elegance he entered the Hotel’s
Wellness Centre to find a pristine world of saunas, steam baths, sprays, herbal tea and
relaxation couches. Bring on the Wellness - FB was ready to
grow and evolve.
Pride of place in this complex was a large glass sided
sauna with a commanding view of the mountains. This was a temple, nay a
cathedral, of Wellness.
This was Wellness taken to a new level. FB was about to discover there are levels
of Wellness that he could not previously have imagined.
 |
| Celebrants in the Cathedral of Wellness |
As FB sat contemplating the mountain view (and growing and evolving in his own manner), a high priestess of wellness entered
the cathedral. She greeted the faithful as
they sat pink and perspiring on the benches.
She was here to perform the ritual aromatic infusion. She assured them that the aromas of Meadow
Herbs, Woodland Flowers, Alpine Spruce, Mountain Pine, or whatever was that
day’s infusion, would regenerate them, banishing all manner of ills affecting
their liver, heart, lungs and all other bits restoring them to the level of new
born babes.
She lifted her bucket and poured her magic solution
on the coals. With a hiss of steam the already
demanding temperature soared to the barely bearable and amongst the faithful
thousand pores opened. The badness of
wurstl, knodel, and in FB’s case, empire biscuits was eased away. The high priestess
then took a specially designed ceremonial fan and wafted the sweetened hot air over
the faithful. FB inhaled deeply and sweated
it out with his fellow disciples. But he
began to worry – Mountain Pine was all very well; Alpine Spruce had its place. But there was one aroma that seemed necessary
to this level of Wellness. He approached
the High Priestess in mid-waft.
‘Achtung’, he intoned, summoning up his
impressive command of the German language derived through painstaking study of Commando war
comics in his misspent youth. ‘Habenzie
ein aroma auf linseed oil?’
For what other aroma could compare? Even the smallest hint of linseed oil in the
air would stir FB’s pulse, would cause all the world’s cares to slip off his
shoulders, would bring to is mind images of sunshine, green grass, and the
sound of leather on willow as that leg spinner was despatched to the far
boundary. It was real Wellness. Wellness with a capital V.
‘Linseed oil. I think not so.’ came the reply. Noting the crumple in FB’s features teh priestess bravely tried to console him ‘But we do serve
Linsen suppe in the restaurant.’
FB returned to his perspiring contemplation
of the mountain view. He felt a little
superior. There was still a lot these people had to learn about true Wellness.
