Burpees

One of the excitements of the lockdown for Fantasy Bob's neighbours must be to hear, or watch, him do his daily work-out in the garden.  FB is sure that, with live action non-existent, he is providing a valuable entertainment service. 

The burpee - please note the model shown is not FB 

What his audience enjoys most of all could be FB's idiosyncratic interpretation of that killer exercise known as the burpee.  FB never wondered about its name - perhaps it was something to with the two bodily functions mentioned?  No.  It is named after its inventor, an American physiologist who rejoiced in the name Royal H Burpee.  Imagine if he had a sensible name like Royal H Torture - then the exercise would have been accurately named.  Imagine also inventing an exercise deemed the ultimate exercise.

Although a keen gymnophile, FB limits his exposure to the burpee.  But during lockdown he is joining more structured classes than normally and the burpee features more often than not. So he reckons he may have done more burpees in these few weeks of lockdown than he has ever done.

In one recent work-out he was required to do burpees non-stop for 3 minutes.  If a week is a long time in politics, then 3 minutes of burpees is approaching eternity.  FB got to the high 30's.  The neighbours turned away at what they thought was such a dismal performance.

They might have applauded with rapture.  The world record for burpees is 5,657 in 12 hours, approximately 470 per hour, a mere 8 per minute.  FB was therefore on schedule to smash that world record.

If only he had kept going for another 11 hours and 57 minutes.  He was that close.