TOWIE

Fantasy Bob has obtained the following spoiler for the new series of the ever popular dramality show......................coming to your screen soon.

When hunk Merv Eastfield comes to town he has only one burning ambition and nothing can stop him. 

He has had it with line and length, he wants to set up the glitziest nail bar in all of Essex. He knows what he wants and he wants it now. 

But Easty lacks one thing. Moolah. Readies. Dosh. (In fact, he lacks 2 things, moolah and brains, but that it another issue.)  

So he is easy meat - and there is a lot of meat about, mostly in short skirts and high heels.  When local bad boy Swedish Keenaria swings by he seems to have the answer to Easty's prayers.  And bottle blondes come Easty's way offering themselves for manicures - all he has to do is slip a few fake suntans their way.   He just drops it short.  Puts it a bit wide.  No one gets hurt.

Easty's mates think it's just banter, but when they see that plastic bag full of bling on the bed they 'fink summink must be well dodgy'.  Before Easty and Swedish can react the Old Bill arrive.

Is there a culture of denial in Essex?  Everyone denies it.  

This series will run for four months. 

Truth is stranger than fiction.

Essex - the First XI