Continental Style

As Edinburgh's city fathers contemplate controversial plans to revitalise Princes Street, the planning authorities at go ahead Edinburgh cricket club Carlton yesterday issued their own plans to revitalise their prestigious Grange Loan HQ with continental style cafes and restaurants.

Continental Style Grange Loan - artist's impression

The authorities have been concerned that the iconic venue has lost its place as the premier shopping venue in the City.

'Increasingly we are finding that our shopping offer is not drawing people.  They seem to come here to watch cricket not to shop.  This is not continental enough.'

The club's planners think that the provision of continental style facilities will address this.

'Many a shopper at Grange Loan has trudged to the top of the famous hill only to find no continental style pavement cafe where they can rest and recover in the continental style.  What they need is a choice of continental style pavement cafes serving continental style fare where they can sit and shiver in the non-continental style wind.'

Other improvements being considered are continental style street theatre where continental style actors pose perfectly still, until they are animated by a coin dropped in their hat.

The club has been training hard during fielding practice for this development.

'Fantasy Bob has mastered standing perfectly still, but is struggling with the having to move bit.'

Proposals come before the club's Council shortly and are expected to attract continental style debate.