KP - a Bible Story

Ford Madox Ford's etching of Ehud
slipping Egon the arm ball

It is the 400th anniversary this year of the King James Bible, and no matter your religious views, this is a sublime work of  literature - the highest point of the English language (other than Shakespeare and Fantasy Bob's blog).  Cricket as a game is not mentioned at any point, although some of the characters are obviously based on cricketers of some ability, and much of the moral teaching embodies the spirit of cricket.  All that is perhaps for another day, for Fantasy Bob wishes to bring to your attention the following passage from teh Book of Judges.

'And Ehud came unto him; and he was sitting in a summer parlour, which he had for himself alone. And Ehud said, I have a message from God unto thee. And he arose out of his seat.
 'And Ehud put forth his left hand, and took the dagger from his right thigh, and thrust it into his belly:
 'And the haft also went in after the blade; and the fat closed upon the blade, so that he could not draw the dagger out of his belly; and the dirt came out.'

An everyday story of political assassination, for Ehud was an Israelite and his victim, Egon, was King of the Moabs who at that time had Israel under dominion.  These days this would be an act of terrorism, but that too is another story.

The point here (as if you could ever think that FB had no point to make) is that Ehud was a left armer. The text at an earlier passage explicitly identifies him as such (he declares his action to the umpire as it were) and the passage above confirms it.  He is the left handed assassin.  

KP assassinated Herath

And there is one English batsman who is making a habit of falling to left handed assassins.  It is the talk on every street corner, in every bar in every town they think of nothing else.  Fantasy Bob is constantly asked his opinion.  Is KP really a rabbit against left arm spin?  Granted, KP hasn't got out to Ehud yet, but 3 innings versus Sri Lanka this summer, 2 times out to left armer Herath.  It looks like he has a problem and it runs deep - overall in his career left-arm spin is the only type of bowling against which his average is below 40.   By contrast, he has relished right-arm spin, averaging almost 60 runs per wicket, and scoring at over four runs per over against them, more than against any other type of bowling.

What is Graham Gooch - England's specialist batting coach doing with him.  FB has a rather simple minded view that Pietersen's exaggerated move to the offside to give him the opportunity to hit to leg isn't the best idea against this type of bowling.  Quite apart from anything his head gets in totally the wrong place. Is this enough to get FB a coaching position with England?  Can it be that simple? 

Gooch -
time to sort the Moabs out

Or is it more than a failure in technique?   Sinistrophobia is an acknowledged condition, defined as among other things an extreme unwarranted fear and/or physical aversion to left-handedness.   As a result of the actions of fellows like Ehud, teh ancients distrusted left handers.  KP therefore has some deep psychological issue.   Fb suspects it can only be because he is a descendent of Egon - in short KP is a Moab.
If he is the cure may have to involve more than just playing with the spin to the off side.  It looks like it could be beyond FB's coaching skill.  Over to Goochy.

PS By the way Goochy, Strauss OBE is next in the queue - looks like he's a Moab too.