Twas the night before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas, the square it lay cold

Not a cricketer played, not a ball could be bowled

There’s ice on the wicket, there’s frost in the deep

And all junior members should be fast asleep

Wrapped up and cosy in warm little beds

With dreams of the morning going round in their heads

And Santa Claus just can't come soon enough

For he's going to bring lots of cricketing stuff

Juniors excited wake long before dawn

But please avoid trouble this Christmas morn

On going to bed they should be told that

4 a.m.'s not the time to knock in a bat

A full day of practice with new gear is planned

Though fast balls in the kitchen have sadly been banned

For last year a speedy full pitched in-swinger

Hit Grandma hard as she cooked Christmas dinner

As Grandma collapsed she was given the news

Grandma you are plum - out leg before goose

The advice to play forward wasn't really a help

Only Christmas good-will prevented a skelp

So this year all cricket must stay in the hall

By edict of Grandpa, there'll be no hard ball

Anyway Grandma's prepared for her lads 

Before she starts cooking she'll put on her pads

But let's leave the juniors all dreaming their dreams

For it's down at the ground where ev'rything gleams

A proud doughty groundsman has given his best

The square's been repaired and the surface top dressed

For Santa will come to kids of all ages,

As long as they've not done something outrageous

And the proud doughty groundsman's been good all year

So he waits for that visit as morning draws near

While darkness descends and the stars light the sky

He leaves out for Santa a special mince pie

And just before turning in for the night

He makes sure his stocking is hanging in sight

Then the doughty groundsman lays down his sweet head

Dreams of shiny new mower in its shiny new shed

There'll be a warm welcome for Santa Claus there

Just as long as he keeps his sleigh OFF THE SQUARE