Harper

On the face of it there is little more tedious than any story about the Beckhams.  And Fantasy Bob is ashamed to besmirch these pages not only with reference to these pouting pointless celebrities but also make reference to football.

Not Harpo Beckham

But the news that the newest Beckham is to be named Harper has stirred Fantasy Bob's desultory disinterest.  For this can only be in tribute to one of FB's own sporting heroes.  Not the flamboyant West Indian cricketer Roger Harper, one the great fielders in cricket history, nor yet recently retired Australian umpire Daryl Harper.  Nor is the name a mispelling of Harpo Marx.

Joey - true great

These are all worthy candidates but they have not inspired Beckham.  The name is obviously in honour of Joseph Montgomery Harper, better known as Joey under which name he is the all time leading goalscorer of Aberdeen FC.  During 2 spells with the club in the 1970s Joey scored 205 goals and FB may well have seen the majority of them, so empty were his young years that he was a regular attender at Aberdeen's home games.  In doing so Joey developed a unique rapport with the Dons' long suffering fans and contributed to important years of Aberdeen's rise to the eventual glory of winning the European Cup Winner's Cup by beating Real Madrid in 1983, though he had retired a couple of years previously. 

Joey could only be described as rotund in appearance but he was supreme in the penalty box, he had a deft touch and knew exactly where to put himself.  In short he was a natural goal scorer of a type not seen in the much sullied and dishonoured game nowadays.  He had a brief flirtation with the Scottish national side and was unfortunate enough to be part of the 1978 World Cup campaign in Argentina, but taht should not tarnish his memory. FB firmly believes that the tired football gag 'Jesus saves, but Joey nets the rebound.' was first written about this hero.

Beckham's recognition of the great contribution to the game by Joey will give a warm glow to Aberdonians of FB's generation wherever they are in the world.  It may even bring a new respect for the much tattooed and over eulogised man himself.  It is unlikely however that Mrs Beckham will ever enter their affections.

Come on Joey give us a goal.