Headingley

Headingley Carnegie Cricket Ground

Fantasy Bob is at Headingley.  His worldwide readership will be familiar with the progress of the Test Match so he will not dwell on it here.

Here are some facts about the famous old ground.

Of the 26 innings over 300 in Test cricket 3 have been scored at Headingley.  This is a distinction it shares with St Johns in Antigua.  Bradman scored 300 twice in Headingley - in 1930 and 1934.  John Edrich scored the third in 1965.  Bradman's Test average at Headingley is 192.

Fred Trueman took 44 wickets here in 9 Tests, but the most successful bowler could be considered to be Malcolm Marshall who played 4 Tests here and took 23 wickets.

Pure Gold

The area of Headingley provided the locations for one of Fantasy Bob's all time favourite TV series, the Beiderbecke Affair,  the Beiderbecke Tapes and the Beiderbecke Connection.  This trilogy was produced by Yorkshire TV and scripted by Alan Plater.  James Bolam and Barbara Flynn were the leading actors.  FB cannot recommend it too highly (the episodes are available on YouTube).  It is pure gold.

The cricket ground itself featured as a location in Episode 4 of the Beiderbecke Connection with a match proceeding in the background.  FB suspects the match was Yorkshire v Sir Lanka which was played between 10 and 12 August 1988.   Sri Lanka are seen batting.  The match itself was drawn - Martin Moxon scored 132 and Kevin Sharp 128 for Yorkshire; Amal Silva got 112 for the Sri Lankans.  In those days Sri Lanka were only granted one Test match which duly took place at Lords 2 weeks later.  England won by 7 wickets.  That match saw Jack Russell make his Test debut.  Put in as night watchman he scored 94, his highest first class score and the highest innings in the match.

Grainger

Fantasy Bob welcomes the gold medal all supporters of Team FB wished to see.  Many congratulations to Katherine Grainger and her partner Anna Watkins as they led from start to finish in the women's double sculls yesterday.  Raw emotion from start to finish as well.  Could her 3 silvers be topped off with a gold?

FB often thinks that a spell bowling up the hill against the wind is pretty tough on the physique.  But rowing is another dimension.  FB did the real thing for a year while he was idling away his post graduate studies at an institution of higher learning on the Thames.  And very enjoyable it was too - he remembers the serene beauty of the river in the early morning with great affection.  It is a mystery to him how he was not spotted by the Great Britain coaches and groomed to be another Steve Redgrave.  This is just one of many mysteries in FB's lengthy sporting career.

Rowing requires whole body fitness in a way that no other sport that FB has encountered does.  And racing requires everything to be given - the pictures of the crews at the end of their races tell their own story.  They are spent.  The rowing machine in the gym can still be a brutal experience.  Grainger and Watkins stroked 40 strokes per minute in the last dash for the line.  FB can manage this on the rowing machine for about 10 seconds and the machine just about takes off from the floor.  But the rowers have to balance and steer their boat as well.

Boathouses on the River Dee Aberdeen

Katherine says she first learned to row on the River Dee in Aberdeen.  So did FB - well almost.  When FB was a kid, there were rowing boats for hire on the Dee from the foreshore under Torry.  FB occasionally ventured forth.  The Dee is relatively speaking a fast flowing river, and the water is not the warmest.  In those far off days there was a different approach to safety and there was no thought of life jackets or any such nonsense.  Fortunately FB and his chums never fell in.  But it was poor grounding for FB's future as an Olympic rower and may well explain his being overlooked when he graced the Isis.

But all that doesn't matter - well done Team FB.  Well done Katherine Grainger, Olympic champion.  Heroine du nos jours.

Finn's Knee

Dead Ball

Fantasy Bob did not witness the incident of Finn's Knee at Headingley yesterday when umpire Steve Davis determined a dead ball when Steve Finn disturbed the stumps at the non-striker's end in his bowling action. Had the ball not been so disallowed, Smith would have been out caught at slip.

In a statement later the MCC said that the umpire's decision was made in accordance with law 23.4(b)vi which states that the umpire shall call dead ball when, 'The striker is distracted by any noise or movement or in any other way while he is preparing to receive, or receiving a delivery. This shall apply whether the source of the distraction is within the game or outside it. The ball shall not count as one of the over.'

This was not the only ball to be called dead during the day for Finn was demolishing the stumps at his end like a man possessed. But Graeme Smith was so distracted by the others that he clumped them for four - not that the runs or the ball stood. But the MCC statement acknowledged this point and said that they would review this law.

It is as well they do.  They should also consider taking evidence from FB who knows a thing or two about dead balls.  For if this rule were strictly applied in the lower leagues that Fantasy Bob inhabits, no ball would ever be deemed other than dead, so distracted are all the batsmen by a range of factors within the game or outside it.  Indeed FB has never knowingly faced a ball without being distracted.  Sometimes he is distracted by the fact that it is a straight one, indeed these seem to be the most distracting of all balls.  He finds too late in his career that they were all properly dead balls.  Had his umpires properly read the rules like Mr Davis, there is no telling the number of runs he might have accumulated.

In lower league cricket umpires generally throw themselves with some enthusiasm into signalling dead balls when the situation demands - when the bowler drops the ball in his run up, when he falls over in his run up, or when he just stops because he too has been distracted. It is obvious to all that no ball has been bowled but the umpire goes into an energetic St Vitus' dance in which his arms become a flurry and the risk of back injury is extreme.  Umpires get particularly agitated on windy days when the bails are blown off, until the umpire decides that he's tired himself out with all that arm waving and the bails are lodged in his pocket for the duration and everyone hopes that there is no run out with the stumps having to be hauled out of the ground in a manner consistent with the laws. 

But the Finn incident gives a new factor that the lower league umpire has not previously considered. Cries of Howsat? on Edinburgh's Meadows this weekend which last week would have elicited the raised finer may well be met with the crossed arm signal. 'Caught behind you think?  No sorry the batsman was obviously distracted by the sound of [delete where applicable] the traffic passing, the traffic not passing, the sound of bongo drums, the sound of the Lady boys of Bangkok warming up on the adjacent space, the sight of the Lady boys of Bangkok warming up anywhere,  the siren of the police car, the police chasing a group of hoodies across the ground, anyone of twenty two mobile phones which might go off at any moment with gratingly inappropriate ring tones, the screams of hoodies set upon by police but asserting their right under the European Convention, any other not listed above. 

FB has encountered many a bowler with Finn like tendencies to demolish the wickets in their bowling action.    Over many years he has come to recognise that he too is at risk.  Bowlers can shoulder charge the umpire as part of their action, or whip him in the face with a leading or trailing arm.  Those who barge with the greatest venom are frequently those who in coming on to bowl have given FB very specific instructions as to where to stand.  FB now realises that this is not for the purpose of ensuring that he is not in their way - just the opposite.  He is carefully positioned into the exact spot where the bowler can mow him down.  So great is the risk with some sides that FB has considered wearing body armour for his umpiring spells.  A strange variant of this happened this season when FB was asked to stand well to the side of the stumps to avoid being mowed down - the bowler then appealed for LBW at every turn with FB at an angle of 45 degrees to the stumps.

If lower league umpires applied law 23.4(b)vi, matches would never finish.  It is therefore as well that the MCC review it.

But all this is a distraction - proof, if proof be needed of the state of FB's mind at the crease.  Not out distracted.

Finn's Knee - not a remake of Eric Rohmer's charming  1971 film.

Looking for Improvement

Commentators have been struggling to explain England's dismal performance at the Oval when they went down to an innings defeat against S Africa.  After a lethargic first day, S Africa were clearly more focussed, more committed and more controlled than England.  Why should this be?

Will this do the trick -
FB wishes good luck to James Taylor

Too much cricket.  Too little cricket.  Too much of the wrong cricket.  The wrong conditions.   The right conditions but the wrong cricket.  The right cricket the wrong conditions but the wrong players. Too much of the right players in the wrong conditions by the right players.  A failure of technique.  A failure of application.  A failure of the application of technique. And so on.  And so forth.

Fantasy Bob is bogged down in all these vice versas.  He doesn't know what to think.  He has always wondered about the 4 man bowling attack and it seems highly questionable to persist with it especially with Graeme Swan carrying an injury.  Bowling 52 overs with a sore arm does not strike FB as a particularly good idea.  FB is a great admirer of Andrew Strauss, a feeling which the England skipper reciprocates, but he fears for him - his century against W Indies gave false hope that he was on the way back.  If his batting is no longer rock solid reliable, does he provide enough leadership in the field in times of stress?  But he was just one of the batsmen who lost any sense of what the appropriate shot was in the second innings.  Since FB only has one shot, he is not usually troubled by shot selection, but even he notes that the sweep seems over selected and at the Oval it caused trouble just as it did in the UAE.

Bob Massie - a sideburn assisted performance at Lords, 1972

Deep thought has led FB to a different conclusion from the professional commentariat.  There is one factor that all the punditry have not lighted upon that may be of crucial importance to England's performance.  Bradley Wiggins' achievement in winning the Tour de France and the Olympic Time Trial in rapid succession shows the power of performance enhancing sideburns.  They have been cleared by the dope testers, they are completely legal.  FB hopes Andy Flower has taken notice.

At one time the cricket world was overgrown with sideburns.  They were clearly important to some performances of the past, perhaps none more than Bob Massie's amazing 16 for 137 at Lords 40 years ago.   If the England bowlers don't have time to grow their own they need to get a hold of yesterday's Sun newspaper and a pair of scissors.  That should get Amla worried.

August

August. Songwriters have not been inspired by the month named after Emperor Augustus in 8BC. Prior to that it had been called Sextilis – and there are no songs about that either.

So in his search for a song about August, Fantasy Bob has to cheat again and nominate Neil Diamond’s live album Hot August Night. While the title is, no doubt, an accurate description of the concert which took place on 24 August 1972 at the Greek theatre in Los Angeles, it is also the opening line from one of Neil Diamond’s big hits – Brother Love’s Travelling Salvation Show. Not that that is a favourite of FB, who if asked to nominate his favourite innings by Diamond would have to plump for Sweet Caroline. Good times never seemed so good.

Hot August Night was a worldwide success, and many critics regard it as the greatest live album ever. It went down particularly well in Australia, where it topped the album chart for 29 consecutive weeks. Diamond's final concert of his 1976 Australian Tour set a record for the largest attendance at the Sydney Sports Ground. Good on you, Song Sung Blue. His Australian popularity is despite the fact that there are no songs about cricket in Diamond’s catalogue. But Diamond was a sportsman in his early life – he got a fencing scholarship to New York University and was on the national college team.

24 August 1972 is a significant date in cricket too – the first ODI in England was played at Old Trafford between England and Australia. This is listed as ODI 2 in the archives – ODI 1 was a hastily arranged affair in Melbourne in January 1971 – put on to replace a weather affected Test match. (The Australia v World XI fixtures of 1971-72 had also featured 3 one day 40 over matches but they don’t count in the records). No one was sure if this new fangled thing would catch on. There have been 3294 ODIs played since then.

England skipper with the first Prudential Trophy

The match was one of a 3 match series sponsored by Prudential and was in a 55 over format. It followed the 1972 Ashes series which had ended in a draw – a number of matches being affected by the weather. Pitches were also indifferent: no English batsman scored a century, and England only scored above 300 in one innings in the whole series (the second innings in the final test, so they left it pretty late). The series is chiefly remembered now for the performance of the debutant Bob Massie who took 16 for 137 at Lords. It also provided England’s first sighting of Denis Lillee – he was the leading wicket taker in the series with 31 at 17.67. The shape of things to come.

England won the 24 August ODI by 6 wickets with 35 balls remaining. The victory was based on a solid innings of 103 by Dennis Amiss. Bob Woolmer, in his international debut, got 3 for 33 – a reminder of his early prowess as a seam bowler, he batted 9 in the England team for the series.

England won the 3 match series 2-1. England were captained by Brian Close, the only ODIs he played in his career. He was 41 years old. Neil Diamond was 31 years old.

Chevy

What's good for
Manchester United
 is good for General Motors.

Fantasy Bob has learned that Manchester United have just signed a deal whereby Chevrolet will be the club's shirt sponsor for next season and beyond.

FB is by no means a connoisseur of motor cars and the truth is that he would recognise a Chevy if it were to knock him over in the street.  However he does acknowledge that the brand (or at least the word Chevy) is deeply resonant.  The Chevy conjures up images of 1960s teenage freedom that was part of the American Dream that FB's generation shared in - willingly or unwillingly.  It therefore came as no surprise to FB that in celebration of the marque's 100th anniversary last year a special radio channel was established which played only pop songs which made reference to the Chevy or Chevrolet.  600 such songs were on the playlist.  It may have been no surprise to FB, but when he tried to list them, he could get no further than 2 - American Pie by Don Maclean and  Elton John's Crocodile Rock.  FB is sure that his world wide readership can do better than he - and they will find the list of the Top 100 such songs on this link.

The Chevy is not the only US car marque to celebrated in pop music.  T'birds, Mustangs, Cadillacs the list is long. No British brand of car has been so celebrated - the names just don't cut it - would the Beach Boys have hit the top of the charts if they had sung 'and she'll have fun, fun, fun till her Daddy takes her Ford Anglia away'.  don Maclean would have struggled if he'd had to sing,  'Drove my Hillman Imp to the levee but the levee was dry'  More's the pity.

While there may be a surge in Chevy drivers in Manchester next year, it is just as likely that the market that General Motors are aiming for is world wide.  United are a world brand as are Chevrolet.

Chevrolet are big sponsors of cricket in S Africa where they sponsor 2 sides in S Africa: the Warriors who play in Port Elizabeth and whose playing roster has included such Test stars as Makhayana Ntini, Ashwell Prince and Lonwabo Tstotsobe; and the Knighrts who play in Bloemfontein and are skippered by Morne van Wyck.  But football is on the ascendant there following the Word Cup 2 years ago.

Man U are hugely popular in Asia, another target market.  Chevrolet tried cricket as a marketing base a number of years ago when they supported on Indian Channel Ten TV a programme called the Chevrolet Cricket Show.   It was made in Dubai and was a magazine format with pieces and interviews with all the big players in front of a live audience.  FB thinks it ran for a few years but may no longer be produced.

FB also read recently that soccer is on a growth spurt in India and significant investment is being made in the game there. There may be a long way to go before it supplants cricket's popularity, and it would be a tragedy if that ever came about, but Chevrolet's new deal may just play a small part in that process.  And in future years how many Bhangra songs will mention Chevy in the lyrics?

Bob's XI

Fantasy Bob discovers that he is a dying breed, liable to extinction.  For in 2000 Robert was the 41st most popular name for boys in the UK.  In 2011 it had declined to 85th.  At this rate of decline there will be no Fantasy Bobs in future.  Perhaps the world can survive that, but could the cricketing world survive?

Robert, is by origin a Norman name, but comes from Germanic roots hrod, meaning 'fame' and berhtl, meaning 'famous' or 'bright'. It is a fitting description for many cricketers.

Here is a select Bobs XI. Fantasy Bob was not considered for selection due to his limited, ie zero, Test experience. But the others were all at one time or another important international players. Apparently Oliver was the most popular boy's name in 2011. FB reckons this Bobs XI would overcome any eleven Olivers with ease.
*Bobby Simpson (Aus) - 62 Tests, 4869 runs @ 46.81, HS 311 Simpson was of Scottish descent,  His first Test century did not come until his 30th test - but it was a big one - 311 at Manchester.  He was subsequently coach of Australia and highly significant in their rise to world dominance.
Bob Barber (Eng) - 28 Tests, 1495 runs @ 35.59, HS 185 -  Barber's 185 is his only Test century - it was made in Sydney in 1966 when he put on and opening partnership of 234 with Geoff Boycott.  it remains teh highest score by an English batsman on the opening day of an Ashes Test.
Bob Woolmer (Eng) - 14 Tests, 1059 runs@ 33.09, HS 149 - Woolmer's Test career was shorter than it might otherwise have been had he not joined the Packer World Series.  After his playing career he was a highly successful coach with s Africa Warwickshire and Pakistan until he died during the 2007 World Cup.
Robert Graeme Pollock (SA) - 23 Tests, 2256 runs @ 60.97, HS 274 - generally regarded as S Africa's greatest cricketer and another of Scottish descent.  an imperious left handed bat whose international career.   was cut short by the boycott of S Africa.
Bob Cowper (Aus) - 27 Tests, 2061 runs @ 46.84, HS 307 -  he made the first Test triple century in Australia in the Fifth test against England At Melbourne in 1966. He averaged an impressive 75.78 in home Tests but only 33.33 overseas - the highest difference of any Test player.
Robert Key (Eng) - 15 Tests, 775 runs @ 31.00, HS 221- seen by many as deserving more than his 15 Tests but never consistent enough for a long run in the side but his 221 agaisnt W Indies in 2004 showed what he could do.  Captain of Kent since 2006.
+Bob Taylor (Eng) -  57 Tests, 174 dismissals - with 2069 victims across his entire career he holds the record for a wicket keeper.  Kept out of the Test side for much of his career by Alan Knott who was a better bat, but Taylor is seen as the keeper's keeper.
Robert Croft (Eng) - 21Tests, 49 wickets @ 37.24 -  the first Welsh cricketer to take the double of 10,000 runs and 1,000 wickets in First Class cricket in 2007.
Bob Holland (Aus) - 11 Tests, 34 wickets @ 39.76 -  the leggie's Test debut in 1984 aged 38 made him the oldest Australian debutant for 50 years. His greatest moment was when he got 6 for 54 amd 4 for 90 in Australia's unexpected victory over W Indies at Sydney. Also distinguisned for jointly holding the record for 5 Test ducks in a row.
Bob Massie (Aus) - 6 Tests, 31 wickets @ 20.37 - a star which shone brightly and then was gone -  his Test debut at Lords in 1972 was at the time the best debut figures in Test history as he took 8 wickets in each innings. But he played only 5 more Tests and never rediscovered the magic that gave him such prodigious swing.
Bob Willis (Eng) - 90 Tests, 325 wickets @ 25.20 - 325 wickets is a big achievement but he will always be remembered for his 8 for 43 at Headingley against the Australians in 1981.